The Seventh Sense: Neo Without a Cause

Sometimes I think to myself, "Why, God?" But then a kitten walks by and I have to go pet it because they're just so cute when they're little! And other times, mostly when I'm petting the kittens, I think, "Why, God, did you make these kittens so irresistible?" But this is such a stupid question. I think it's pretty obvious that God made kittens cute because if they weren't cute, no one would house and feed them and they would all die, because if there's one thing a kitten is bad at, it's bloodsport. Can you imagine a kitten in Running Man? Maybe it could hide for a while in one of the dumpsters or something because it's real little, but there's no way it would ever successfully run to its freedom without being stomped by Buzzsaw. He's great.

This inevitably gets me thinking about a lot of things, because let's face it, I'm a thinker. Like the statue, I'm always curled up in this position, just thinking and thinking until my head darn near explodes. In addition to being a thinker, I also watch lots of movies. I like The Matrix, and I like M. Night Shylamalam's work, and Jimmy Dean is pretty much my favorite actor (and sausage). Those guys make me think.

Anyways, during one of those thinking sessions, I got to thinking about my favorite movie, The Matrix. If you've never seen it, it's about this man named Neo who is actually a robot, but he doesn't know it yet. Neo's just living his life, riding motorcycles and knife-fighting, when all of a sudden he meets a little boy. The boy claims that he can see robots, and I guess no one else can see them or something. So Neo and the boy become fast friends (it's kinda creepy in a molestation sort of way) , except there's one catch: the boy and this black dude are competing for Neo's attention, and the black dude wants him to take some pills. Neo's kinda standoffish about the whole thing, like "Why should I do what you tell me?" and he storms out of the house with the boy and they ride his motorcycle into the sunset.

So at that point you're thinking, wow, that Neo is pretty rebellious. But then, once Neo and the boy run out of gas, the boy drops a bomb and he goes "Neo, you're a robot." So Neo drops to his knees and he's all "NOOOOOO!" and the camera zooms out real dramatic to show that Neo's in a desert by himself. Then he runs away back to the black dude and leaves the boy who betrayed him in the dust, like a total conformist. Then Neo goes, "I understand now," and he takes the blue pill, I think, or maybe the red. I don't think it matters because it's obvious that the black dude just wants to get Neo hooked, either way. Then out of nowhere Neo goes on this big-ass trip with dojos and all these green numbers all over the place and he thinks he can fly. It's obvious that he's really high. And then I fell asleep but at the end of the movie he flies away wearing this big cape, which must mean that he's like a super-upgraded robot now or something.

Anyways, I think it's pretty obvious that the moral of The Matrix is that really, in your life, who can you trust? If you can't trust innocent young boys, and you can't trust drug dealers, then really, what's the point?

Yours in Christ,
Mike