Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Fireside Gchats: A Dance With Dearth

In the 642 days since our last post, we've spent time mulling over what direction, if any, to take TCS. We talked about creating robust content with social media impact that could give us the kind of big data it takes to lean in and scalably move forward, synergistically.

...Mostly, we tried to learn a lot of business jargon with which to impress you all. How else could we move the needle in the blog vertical? Surely, we couldn't take our learnings offline and magically provide a minimum viable product. That's just not a sustainable course of action. 

Instead, we decided to freshen things up the way sitcoms do. That's right: a format change. (Sorry to those of you expecting a clip show). 

We'd like to introduce "Fireside Gchats," which are gmail chat transcripts between myself and TCS co-founder, Michael Bogart, aspiring author (read: poor). 

The conversations are samplings of our actual back-and-forths, interspersed with illustrations from our one and only TCS art-man, Thomas Glass Jr.

As the series namesake, FDR, would say: Let's get rolling.


Tapan Jones:
i think i fundamentally don't understand readings
writers write

mike b:
they're just a way to get your name out
bring people together
show off your wares

Tapan Jones:

mike b:
we don't spell shit with z'z bro

Tapan Jones:
what about zebra

mike b:
we spell that with a p-h

Tapan Jones:

mike b:
like the spanish

Tapan Jones:

mike b:

Tapan Jones:
would you be fine if your wife cheated on you with a spaniard
he's a professional flamenco dancer (a flamencist) and calls you mykell every time you interact

mike b:
absolutely not

Tapan Jones:
"but mykell, you must dance with more pahshun. where are jou hips?? here, let me show you how to dance with your beautiful wife, victoria"

"...it's not that great of a hat."
mike b:
this is after i know he's fucking her?
this dude is ASKING for it

Tapan Jones:
you were suspicious at the dance
but you knew when you found a rose petal while making your bed

mike b:
are you kidding me

Tapan Jones:
here's the thing, though

mike b:
he walks around with rose petals?

Tapan Jones:
she's become significantly more sexual in your marriage

mike b:
that's odd lol

Tapan Jones:
what can i say, he's ignited a fire
so what are you going to do? what's your course of action?

mike b:
i'm going to devote my life to the flamenco
to the passion for dance
i'll start off ungainly and uncoordinated, sure
but i'll discover within me the rhythm
and little by little i'll creep up the ranks
along the way i'll meet a spanish maid who never thought she'd be anybody
we'll become the next rising stars of flamenco together
and the movie will culminate with a showdown between me and lupita, and my wife and fernando, for the flamenco crown
lupita and i will lose by a fraction of a point, but we'll have learned a lot about ourselves along the way, and we'll ride into the sunset confident in the knowledge that later that night we're going to murder them in their sleep

Ride-by or die
Tapan Jones:
that was an unexpected twist

mike b:
nobody fucks with the jesus

Tapan Jones:
what if once you've committed the murder
you find out lupita is your wife's half sister
and fernando's Current wife

mike b:
that would be even sweeter
we're Made for each other
that's what i'll say
ha ha ha

Tapan Jones:
you don't understand
the murder is only of your wife
lupita's leaving you, your life savings in tow

mike b:
we killed fernando too
why would we not
how did she get my life savings

Tapan Jones:
you don't remember?
the night before the dance contest, the two of you eloped
she said "closeness is the only thing that flamenco understands"
meanwhile, you signed away your life during the wedding, without reading the fine print, as love (and dance) blinded you

mike b:
you're telling me
that fernando and lupita were in cahoots all along?

Tapan Jones:
post-contest, you sent her to commit the violent act, as you just "wanted it done"
lupita and fernando were in cahoots -- they're married
they both killed your wife, and now have the money that they always wanted from you
closing shot: a wilted rose petal on the dance floor

mike b:
we'll call it A Rose for Emily
nobody's used that right
and let me get this straight:
their plan was to anger me into the flamenco life, so that i could happen to meet lupita, who would spur me to the top of the flamenco charts, which would blind me to the fact that i signed my life away to her, and then for some reason we kill my wife

Tapan Jones:
think about it, man
would you have ever wanted to dance if your wife wasn't cheating?

mike b:
but why go through the whole flamenco competition shenanigans
lupita can work it
why doesn't she seduce me

Tapan Jones:
she did, bro, she did

mike b:
through flamenco

Tapan Jones:

Prequel to "Texas Two-time"
mike b:
you want to name our film Flamenconspiracy

Tapan Jones:
just for the record, as you're doubting the power of this dance, flamenco seduction (which i googled on my work computer) returned 11.8 million results
the top hit is "Flamenco, the art of seduction"
anyway, what lesson did you learn from all of this

mike b:
from what i just youtubed, flamenco is apparently a solo dance lol

Tapan Jones:
and scene
why do you think you're left solo (read: so low) at the end?

mike b:
dude we're going to get an F on this movie
you're going to drag my career into the fucking toilet, like you do everything else

Tapan Jones:
an F for...flamenco


Till the next dance round the fireside,
Tapan Jones & Mike B.

[Art, as always, by Thomas Glass Jr.]

Click to maximize the pictures!