★★★★★
Tapan Jones:
unrelated, what color do you want me to paint your coffin
i was going to go with powder blue with racing flames
mike b:
i would like this one please
http://tinyurl.com/l2mldep
 |
| The KISS of death |
just prop my body up next to it with some shades on
i'll be holding a little butler tray and people can grab a tall, cool budweiser from me
 |
| Afterlife of the party |
Tapan Jones:
http://tinyurl.com/kheh2c4
 |
| Shade back |
mike b:
that movie is fucking funny
i don't care what nobody says
Tapan Jones:
i'm going to make a really serious drama
Weekend at Bernice
http://www.bernicela.org/ [Readers: a link to the official homepage of Bernice, Lousiana]
mike b:
how much gator wrestling will there be in the movie
and 2) how will you get enough fat actors
Tapan Jones:
none, meryl streep demanded as much
2) i'm going to use a technology pioneered in The Klumps
mike b:
dude look at the third picture down on that page lolol
it's just an out of focus picture of a shitty dog track
Tapan Jones:
that's going to be a symbol of chasing failed dreams
in my film
mike b:
hey, there's an idea
who does meryl streep play
Tapan Jones:
and it will end with, "i'm just doggone tired, walter. i'm just dog-gone-tired"
and it'll be clear meryl was talking about the hole in her heart when the family dog, jefferson, ran away
mike b:
jesus christ
Tapan Jones:
see answer to question 2 above. in order to really embrace the teachings of the auteur eddie murphy, she'll have to play everyone
it'll make the sex scene...interesting
mike b:
your movie
is meryl streep
in fat suits
playing a greyhound trainer + every other person in the movie
and it's called Weekend at Bernice
 |
| "This awards season, experience a chilling look at the ruff life of small town Louisiana" |
Tapan Jones:
i know, i know, i might as well call it "oscar lock"
the hardest part will be working in the line
from her body builder brother, who will be representing the city in small time competitions
mike b:
just to be clear, meryl streep is playing a male body builder
Tapan Jones:
he'll have to say, somehow naturally, "once they get a look at these Bernice Pythons (points to biceps), they'll have to send me to nationals"
mike b:
wait a minute
Bernice is pronounced burr nice?
Tapan Jones:
of course not
burrnese
mike b:
why does he call them Bernice Pythons
burmese pythons?
Tapan Jones:
yes
exactly
that's the clever writing
it's where you learn that he paid attention in geography class
which is a key plot point, because it shows a transition period in his life between being locked in to just bernice and thinking about the rest of the world
i know sometimes writing this highbrow can isolate viewers
but it's for the good of art
you can't spell Greatness without using the same letters in the word "Art"
remember that, mike. in your writing, and in life
also, remember how i told you everything exists on the internet
you're going to want to ready yourself
http://tinyurl.com/p5cf2o3
 |
| So dedicated to method, she even grew out her hair |
mike b:
is that meryl streep's face
Tapan Jones:
she just disappears into her roles
that's what she sent me when i asked if she was willing to tackle this role
i swear, that woman is so committed to her craft, she wanted to play the dog
http://tinyurl.com/p34rwwr
 |
| Talent is the leasht of her worries |
mike b:
[Readers: Mike finally inserts a delayed, but relevant, link. By the time of this post, YouTube took down the video altogether. What a fun parallel]
that took for fucking ever, i hope you appreaciate it
*appreciate
Tapan Jones:
good research, but i found a god damned picture of a dog in meryl streep's acting chair
that is an all-time relevant link
mike b:
hahaha
Tapan Jones:
so the KISS coffin, then?
mike b:
http://tinyurl.com/ph5962m
 |
| Alternate title: Being Glibya |
Tapan Jones:
(solid link, but timing is important to relevance)
mike b:
yeah the kiss one
DONT TELL ME HOW TO LINK
Tapan Jones:
i can't wait to put you in the ground
